Create

My sister gave me this bracelet last night for my birthday and it perfectly declares where my mind is right now.

CREATE!

It is wonderful to have this beautiful affirmation and encouragement around my wrist. I wear it on my right wrist. The one I use to create...fabulous!

I am never going to take it off; I will keep it on to remind me what I do. I am an artist. I create!!


Obviously I never forget what I do, it is just not always easy to do it. Sometimes my creative juices run dry, sometimes I am too tired to work and sometimes, like now, life just gets in the way.

In addition there are times I wonder what it means to be an artist and I get stuck in my mind trying to answer this question. Can I call myself an artist because I have a degree in painting and drawing (by the way, if you want to know what art school is like see Art School Confidential. It is shockingly accurate; it was eerie how spot on it was!!)? Can I claim the title because I have no other job? Do I need to make a certain amount of money? How do I combine art and commerce and should I?? I have had years of incredible good fortune and years (yes years) where I felt like I was just crap at everything.

I think I have arrived at a place where creating, art, is just what I do. It hurts too badly not to. I have things to say that haunt me if I leave them unsaid. Un-created. I am learning that what is important is not where the painting hangs and/or who buys it but the process of making it. The act of creating. I am beginning to realize that if I am true to my vision all the other factors will fall into place. I will earn enough, someone will understand what I am saying, and someone will want my paintings.

The Universe has been very generous with me lately in terms of inspiration. It has filled my head with paintings; they have flown in on raven’s wings. I have one painting all built, stretched, primed, sketched and ready to go. The only problem is that I am leaving in a day ½ for a week, so I won’t be able to paint until after Thanksgiving. It is so unfortunate when inspiration is flowing and life is getting in the way. It is a dilemma that everyone working in a creative field faces from time to time. I realize that is just how it goes but I am finding it increasingly frustrating.
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So, I can not start the paintings yet but I think I will try to have at least three paintings built, sketched and ready to paint when I get home. That way they can continue to grow in my mind while I am away. When I get home I will be more than ready to jump in and paint!

I feel a period of hibernating with my creations coming on for me and I have to say it is welcome. I am opening my door to inspiration and trusting it to lead me on an interesting journey

Echoes

My house is full of echoes. As I pour out the remaining splashes of wine from the glasses, gather up the cups of tea and water and begin to wash away the traces of our weekend, I feel myself tear up with the emotion of missing the seven amazing women that were gathered around me here. Then I begin to hear the echoes, your voices telling stories and filled with laughter. Just as you have each taken a piece of me with you, so have you left a part of yourselves here with me.

We spent 72 hours together in the hall of mirrors, 7 individuals reflecting ourselves back to each other in the candlelight.

Liz, thank you for your beautiful chanting it lifted us up and set the stage for our journey. You were very generous with your talents and gentle with your guidance.

Thea, your smiles were so plentiful, warm and a beautiful invitation to curl up in your arms. I felt like I had known you forever and was safe breaking open against your strength. You were an amazing catalyst for us all. You encouraged us to spill, reminding us we are safe, and letting us each know that you loved us. You are amazing.

Michelle, watching you open up and share your true self was a thing of beauty. You have such depths and strength behind that quiet exterior. It was a priceless gift that you gave by sharing “her” with us. Magic! I wish we had more time together and I am all ready trying to think of a way to spend more time with you. You are inspirational my dear, never doubt your power.

Den, my darling friend, it was amazing to be able to spend so much time with you again. There were times as I looked at you I would think of that little girl I met so long ago. It was a joy to see how much she has grown, how much you have come into yourself and bloomed into fullness. I am in awe of your heart dear one. You are filled with such love and empathy. I know you are part angel. I am so lucky to have you walking beside me on this journey. I will love you my whole life.

Susannah meeting you is like finding a missing piece of myself. You have helped me to feel more whole again my dear and I am forever in your debt. You are so elegant and talented, and at first I was a little intimidated by your many gifts until I saw your tender heart, your loving hugs, your comforting words and your own pain. I am excited to be able to watch from such a close proximity as you take your place on stage! Great things lie in wait my dear, soon, I feel them making their way to the surface.

Meg, you are like my favorite teddy bear. I just want to cuddle you, look at your sweet face and know that somehow everything is just a little better because you are here. I am so grateful for all the ways you share your heart, the little touches when I needed them, the big hugs, the laughter and the words I needed. I love you madly!

The walls of my home seem to vibrate with the energy that was shared here; it has seeped into them as it has into me. Our time together has left its mark and had its alchemical effects. I love you all and miss you with my whole heart.