Thursday, April 06, 2006

A little rant, rave and flowers

I wish I could learn to live in a hovel. That stacks of papers on every surface, dishes in the sink, and piles of clothes scattered about did not drive me crazy. It would save me hours of time and many many arguments with my husband.

My husband has NO problem living like a pig. His four years of dwelling in an Ivy League fraternity were in fact training for it. I am sure of all the things he learned in college this is the skill he has perfected and applies most routinely. For an idea of what I am up against here, Animal House was based on his college. Nice.

Today ladies I am feeling frustrated with the plight I share with so many women…unequal delegation of responsibilities. I am also feeling highly frustrated (like up to my eyeballs) with the lack of respect and general understanding of what being self-employed is really like!! Not just self-employed, but an artist no less, how self-indulgent.

My husband seems to think I have hours of “free time during the day”…uh, come again??? I drop my son off at school at 9 and have to pick him up at 3. Which means I have between the hours of 9:30 and 2:30 to work, and that is if no one interrupts me, my husband has no errands needing running etc….

In addition, because of my son’s special needs, I have been helping out in the classroom three days a week from 9:30 – 11:00, which means on those days I have 3.5 hours.

So, ok, lemme just list SOME of the tings I have going:

Taking care of the house, (that means ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping…ALL OF IT!)

My son’s daily care and activities (which include, piano, guitar, Spanish, Science, T-ball, and drama. PHEW…I know but he just can’t get enough. He requires a lot of stimulation. I require wine.)

My career (which includes painting for shows, painting commissions, sewing clothes, marketing, business groups, correspondence etc….)

I am aware I am on a bit off a self-pitting rant here. I know I have some control and choices…blah blah blah..I just need to be pissed off for a minute. I hope you will excuse me, I am feeling like I need to get it out of my body before my head pops off in utter frustration!!

So, today I am preparing cocktail hour for my husband’s colleagues tonight. Another reason for the vent, have to be over it by 5:30 when guests arrive. So, when I was at the store shopping for food and ALCHOL, I also picked up $70 worth of flowers for every room I am in today and made a hair apt for next week!

Don't get mad, get even right?

PS: Sorry for not posting some beautiful bit of poetry!


Blogger liz elayne said...

i wrote you this whole long comment about how i feel your pain...then my husband came in (he is a teacher on spring break this week) and hugged me (oh so sweet) which caused me to hit something and delete it all. ARGH!
Anyway, i want to just say that you are not alone with these feelings and it is good to roar and let them out every now and then. and i am glad you bought yourself some flowers. i wish i was just down the street so i could walk over with some tulips from my yard.
hugs to you...

12:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I so so so so so so so RELATE to this! Argh...I just got the "boo hoo, I was on a business trip" comment to get out of some childcare. Oh, poor you...sleeping a FULL night in a king sized hotel bed and having room service. My heart bleeds!

Ahem, where was I? Just...I can relate. And I love your "revenge" a pic of the new hair!

2:57 PM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

great rant.

don't apologize for it...
its good to know that others
often feel the same way...

i am also self employed...
i look after 4 children under the
age of 3...and trust me,
most days, there is NOTHING else done
except for what i am staying home
to do...

loving the flowers,
by the way...

5:18 PM  
Blogger Laini Taylor said...

Oh Letha, I'm so sorry! I get a lot of misunderstanding too, but luckily not from my husband who is also a self-employed artist. We divide the main chores and luckily have just about the same mess tolerance - though mine might be a tad higher. My sister-in-law, though, even though she makes more money than her husband, is expected to keep the house tidy and when her husband is "babysitting" he tends to do his own thing or fall asleep or be on the computer so she has to actually HIRE a babysitter when he's HOME! I just can't believe that situation! It's like the 1950s.

8:56 AM  
Blogger M said...

You go girl! Those flowers are gorgeous! Why do we have to go through this male/female struggle, even today in the 21st Century, what is that about anyways?!! I'm lucky to have a partner who is neat and tidy, so we don't have to deal with those issues, but I can feel your pain! Make him realize what your day really consists of, take him through it step by step so he can see it. A day in the life of Letha- maybe then he'll get it! Good luck and vent anytime, that's what we're here for!

9:46 AM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

you're speakin' for the masses. i think most women, if not all, know exactly what you mean and feel the inequality daily. feel free to vent. we'll all sit here, read, and nod our heads in acknowledgement.

9:52 AM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

oh yes...we live with two handsome, sensitive, talented, brilliant, humorous, loving - - PIGGIES!!


resonating (and laughing) and not feeling alone.

i love you, beautiful crack me up.

flowers, haircut - - rock on!


10:34 AM  
Blogger JennC said...

Can totally relate. I work full-time, 2 hour commute (both ways together), am trying to get myself off the ground and can only work 1 hour a day. Whenever I go in to my studio on the weekend, I'm instantly surrounded by my kids who have "all of a sudden" decided that they want to paint too....

And hubby expects me to do the cooking, cleaning, etc...

ARRRGGHHHH... Gads, I wish I could work more... rather than spinning my wheels...

Hey, I'm new here. Like your blog. Thanks for being honest and ranting...

7:07 AM  

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