Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Self portrait Tuesday

Here are a few more of the paintings I am working on for my upcoming show, I hope I am not boring you all with these! Again all the little ones are a part of one large piece. The other piece is a large painting that will show on another wall, it’s big, about 6 feet by 4 ½ feet. Again…THEY’RE NOT DONE. It is so hard to let go and just put them up in their various stages of the painting process. I am hoping you all will go easy on me ☺ You will see how different they look when they’re done.

I am having an especially hard time today posting them today. I am battling those old self-doubting, criticizing voices in my head. I am being terribly mean to myself and I don’t seem to be able to give it a rest. I know we all have those days where we doubt ourselves, are uncertain of our choices, and feel insecure about careers.

Today is my day for it and since I can’t seem to let it go on my own, I am writing it down to get it out of my mind and heart. I am worried that I suck, that I will never have the kind of career that I hope to have. I am fearful that with all this moving around I have to let certain dreams go and that feels painful today. I feel like here aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. I am having trouble balancing commissions, murals, my sons activities, house work etc with my own work and I am afraid it will be the thing that gets sacrificed…..what is it they say about a woman’s work???

Phew, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I wish I had an inspirational, motivating and uplifting post for you all to read but this is where I am today. I am hopeful that after a day of painting I will be able to put the voices to rest. Here is a pic of the sketch on canvas I am going to go work on...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your work is beautiful and so are you. I am exactly where you are. I'll bring the chai lattes.

12:15 PM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

you and your art are perfect, just as they are.

warm hug to you to squeeze out those unsure feelings. i totally get them but am here to tell you that you will never ever suck.

2:03 PM  
Anonymous amy said...

these are so beautiful and full of life thank you for sharing them. You can borrow my magic red shoes anytime!

2:29 PM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

tell that inner critic to sit down and shut up because you rock!!!

6:16 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

thank you for putting your words and truth and work out here into the world. you inspire me girl. i love this brave series - the ultimate self-portraits in many ways. i can't wait to one day see them in person....

8:43 AM  
Blogger M said...

Your work is beautiful, I love watching it develop. Thank you for sharing both your work and your feelings today. I'm with you, getting it off your chest often helps clear the mind as well. Don't ever apologize for how you feel, you are allowed to be overwhelmed and scared- its not letting it stop you that is so amazing! You go girl!!

9:26 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I feel like this too. It amazes me that someone with your talent also has these moments. I suppose my husband is right when he tells me all artists feel that way at times. If someone with your monumental skill and talent has self doubt, then we all must at times.

But, know this, your work is amazing. Not just because of the photo realism, but because of the unbridled honesty in it.

2:11 PM  

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