Wednesday, March 08, 2006


My husband and I took a trip to Sedona Arizona last April for some much needed R&R. We spent a glorious week working out every morning, swimming, hiking, spa treatments for me and golf for him, romantic dinners and catching up on our reading. It was blissful and it feels like a decade ago!

One of the hikes we took was through an amazing canyon. It is located on one of the Earth’s vortexes. It is an area that has a strong spiritual pull and many people go there as a part of their spiritual journey. Along the hike we kept coming across these rock pillars. People had made them everywhere. I assume they were meant to channel the powerful energies coming from the Earth at it’s vortex. They were so beautiful. They seemed to be delicate and strong at the same time.

This one amazed me…two different rock pillars merging into one. It reminded me of marriage. The balancing act that ensues when two separate lives join and become one. Even in the best of marriages, there is a balancing act that occurs in order to meet the needs of both partners.

Inspired by Pixie via Denise to share some fears…in the spirit of getting them out to take their power away and diffuse them…here goes!

My husband and I are both deeply in love with each other and our individual careers. For each of us, what we do is a part of who we are. He is a doctor specializing in international medicine and I am an artist. Here comes the balancing act and the give and take that is a marriage.

His career requires us to move, a lot. We have moved 3 times in 7 years and there is no sign of it stopping. In fact the moves are becoming more dramatic, in the fall of ’07 we will be heading to Uganda Africa. My husband is setting up medical and research clinics and will he traveling around the country visiting and helping out at refugee camps. There are many camps in the North of the country; the majority of the people are from Sudan seeking peace and assistance. This is a very dangerous part of the country and I worry for him.

While I am supportive and in fact a little in awe of my husband and his contributions I am a little nervous about how it will affect my ability to maintain a career of my own, an identity of my own. Can you get oil paint in Uganda? So much of the art world is who you know and relationships. It is difficult to maintain and foster relationships from half a world away. I know there are many exciting adventures ahead, wonderful opportunities for me to help out the people I come into contact with etc….but I would be less than honest if I didn’t admit to a little fear of the dark. There are so many things, questions that will remain un-answered until I get there. Will we be safe, will my son be happy, will I be happy, will our marriage survive if only my husband is fulfilled, how will I see my friends and family….and so on. I don't want to soound selfish, or like I am onlyy woorried about me....just trying to let the fears out so I can let them go.


Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

"i don't want you to go!!!"

okay...whining is done.

in all seriousness my all of your travels, uprooting, moving to grand places in the past, you have always managed to find a place for yourself, for your art.

you just have that spirit where blessings find you, people want to help you.

i have a good feeling that you will make some resourceful connections in regards to art supplies.

and i can imagine in will have so much inspiration at your fingertips to paint with the colorful and eclectic surroundings.

i cannot wait to see Uganda through your eyes and oil paints.

i love you and honor your bravery for getting these fears out here and asking the Universe for healing.

i love you, dearly.

den xoxo

11:51 AM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

oh...forgot to mention...GORGEOUS photos, btw.

carsten and i saw these rock formations on the beach at Big Sur.

they were awe-inspiring!

11:52 AM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

you are brave to share your fears here. wow. what an amazing experience you must be having on this journey not only of marriage but this journey around the world. my belief is that what you put out there into the universe will come back to you. if you put out that you need oil paints in uganda, maybe they will appear in the most unusual of ways.

3:12 PM  
Blogger megg said...

In the Canadian North, the Inuit people make rock sculptures like the ones in your photo. They call them Inukshuks (spelling probably isn't right...) and my limited knowledge of Native culture remembers that they are to show where they have been. They are like guideposts for other travellers, and a memory of the people who have gone before. That may or may not be what the ones you saw were but I think it's a good thing to think about when you talk about moving a lot.

I understand SO well about moving away from friends and family. and I only went to the UK - I would be terrified to go to Uganda - but what a rich experience you and your son will have!! I don't envy you the constant moves though. The feeling of rootlessness is so hard to deal with. If you ever need to commiserate, I'm here!! (and that is the BEST thing about blogging - it doesn't matter where you are!!)

2:39 AM  
Blogger M said...

What a balancing act! I can totally relate to your fears about being in another part of the world, I've been traveling and living temporarily for almost 8 years and now am finally starting to settle down. Seeing the world has filled my creative tank with so much, I wouldn't take back any of the fear or anxiety or uncertainty I felt along the way.Its part of the process and will come through in your wonderful artwork too I'm sure! I've never been to Africa, but just think of the inspirations and gifts you are going to receive from such a fascinating place! Thank you for sharing your fears, we can now help you carry them. And I agree with Liz, the Universe has a way of helping us out when we least expect it. I believe being settled in yourself and knowing who you are means you will feel at home anywhere you go. Especially with your husband and your son along for the ride! Good luck!! Can't wait to hear all about it!

9:13 AM  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

I can imagine the fears this type of move can bring up.

You will probably have so many inspirations for your work~ I know it feels scary but most things that are scary because they are new end up being great opportunities for growth and expansion. You may add whole new dimensions to your work that could enhance it in ways you could never imagine.

Thank you for sharing these fears with us.

You are amazing and strong.

6:15 AM  

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