Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Self portrait Tuesday- Introduce yourself #4

My hands are my favorite body part. Not because I find them beautiful, on the contrary, they have hangnails, chipped nails and rough skin that I think looks older than my years. I love them because they serve me so well. I use them to paint, write, create, cook, caress…I could not imagine life without the use of my hands.

I was THE biggest dork in elementary school. Seriously. I was at the bottom of the social ladder.

I do not like sharing my computer. My husbands PC died a terrible death of a virus a few months ago and since he has been sharing my laptop. I feel awful and selfish about it but it drives me crazy! It is like sharing my journal. My computer has so many precious bits on it, pictures, painting ideas, short stories, songs, it is how I spend a lot of time. Recently, it has been hard for me to get to as my hubby is using it for his work. It is making me insane!

I love the smell of sharpies and paint.

I love to walk in the rain, I throw on a hat on my head, get a warm drink, and head out into the city. I love the cool feel on my skin, the fresh smell of the rain and to watch as it washes everything clean. I like to be anonymous, the pretend that no one can see me as I move through the streets.

I was a serial monogamist. I never really had the experience of dating a few people casually at the same time. I almost always had a boyfriend, or just one guy I was dating. I tried it once with disastrous results. My roommate at the time left me a well-intentioned post it stuck to the bathroom mirror about my date for the following night with boy number 2. I was coming home from a date with boy number 1 and invited him in. He used the bathroom first and that was it. It scared the wrong boy off and didn't go my way at all!

I still feel like a big dork. Sometimes when we are out for an evening upon coming home I think over the nights connversations. I wonder if I sounded like an idiot, if people thought I was stupid, if they liked me etc...those critical little voices born of childhood slights and insecurities kicks in. I hide my head inder the pillow squeeze me eyes shut and try not to listen.

I took off for a cross-country road trip with friends when I was 18. I knew my mom didn't want me to go, she gets nervous about things like that. My dad however channeled Jack Kerouac and told me to go out and have experiences. He shared some of his own adventure stories with me; it was a great conversation. So, when my mom when to work I packed my bag and took off. I think my mom is still mad about it. I wouldn't trade the memories of that trip for anything!


Blogger liz elayne said...

you are so beautiful my friend. i love all that you share in this list...how i get to know you a little more with each post.

9:51 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

in love with this list.

all the little known quirks
and quarks...so interesting to know.

and its funny how many of us
would define ourselves
as "dorks/geeks/nerds" etc
in school...and then its like
the internet is a magnet
drawing us all together,
saying, "see, its ok...
there are more like you...
and now,
you are all interesting people...
it was ok to be socially inept
in school, cause look at you now!"

at least,
thats what i tell myself
(the geeky anxious-ridden
social outcast of my elementary self, that is)

10:18 AM  
Anonymous annax said...

I think you have such an inspirational blog, and you seem to be such a lovely person, would you mind if I link you on my blog?

1:42 PM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

i love getting these glimpses of you! you live fully and passionatly and that is inspiring! the road trip sounds like an awesome experience and i wish i had done something like that...maybe when i'm older...

2:41 PM  

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